Welcome to The Australian Salary Chronicles, where we’re bringing transparency to negotiation and salaries, one story at a time. Very little attention is given to the good news stories and we want to highlight these to inspire and support other women.

We ask women to share their experiences negotiating their salary and what their advice is for others doing the same. We share these stories anonymously so they feel comfortable speaking as openly and as freely as possible.

This week we’re speaking with an Associate Director of Reporting who not only became one of the first females in a leadership role in her area, but also broke the mold in role modelling a flexible working arrangement in her organisation.

Title: Associate Director, Reporting

Location: Sydney

Salary/Benefits Offered: $149k

Negotiated Salary/Benefits: $156k (starting) then $163k after 6 months (plus flexible working)

What was the situation when you decided to negotiate your salary:

I work for a large government agency where my colleagues are mainly senior males in IT, traditionally a highly male-dominated area. This presented many challenges, particularly in negotiating salary increases and the opportunity to work flexibly. As a mum of two young boys, the challenges of doing what it takes to succeed professionally and making my family a priority was harder the more senior I progressed.

As a female, I found myself often already judged by my male colleagues before I had entered a room. I had to work hard to prove myself for a good two years before it felt like I was taken seriously for my capabilities.

When a new role was advertised within my team in a leadership capacity, I wanted to apply for it but lacked confidence and had no experience in high level conversations. In addition, the public sector is known for its clearly defined hierarchical structure meaning that progression above a direct pay grade would be unusual.

YPWA encouraged me to apply and helped me to prepare for the interview, so that I could build my confidence and change my mindset. The coaching paid off, I was shortlisted for the interview and subsequently offered the role. I then took the next and difficult step to negotiate my starting salary at the mean and not the usual starting point of minimum level for that pay grade; then subsequently the maximum level (for the pay grade) after six months of being in the role.

When I took over the leadership role, the organisational structure was very flat with a lack of accountability in many areas. I proposed an organisational change which was approved and we then recruited for the new positions. The scale of projects that were delegated to the department increased and we were under-resourced to cope with the demand. Internal politics together with unsupportive colleagues mean the situation became highly stressful and I seriously considered resigning because the cost personally was not worth it. I stayed on believing in my team and myself but something had to change and it was not remuneration.

When I consulted with Kate, she challenged me to request more flexibility in my working arrangements, specifically working from home one day a week. This would allow me the space away from the politics and noise of the office to think and strategise whilst allowing me some time to prioritise my family commitments at the same time. Whilst in many organisations this is common practise, in my organisation, to my knowledge, this had never been done. I was reporting directly to the CFO, and when I had the difficult conversation to ask for a more flexible arrangement, I was surprised when he agreed, acknowledging that I needed the space to think to work more effectively.

At the start of 2016, I began working one day a week from home. While this was a challenge at first to get my colleagues, staff and other stakeholders used to the idea, it was ultimately highly successful in increasing my productivity, allowing me the space to concentrate and manage my deliverables.

Recently I have transitioned this arrangement to a nine-day fortnight – meaning I work extra hours during the week to take a tenth day off every fortnight. While I’m still learning, and improving my system of working flexibly, it has helped me to be more effective and also spend more time with my family and on myself.

The experience of applying for the leadership role and asking for a flexible work arrangement was a great personal challenge, but I learnt that it is worth taking a risk outside your comfort zone and breaking the mould to achieve your goals.

YPWA are committed to closing the gender pay gap in Australia. If you are a women and need some support negotiating a salary or career related issue, why not attend one of our Free Monthly Group Mentoring Sessions. To receive details of this and other YPWA Events register at https://goo.gl/PFbbx

If you are a woman with a story to share on negotiating salary/remuneration or progression opportunity, please contact Jasia@ypwa.com.au.

Last week was International Womenn’s Day and we held our annual conference where, as always we tackle some of the big and heavy hitting issues facing women in leadership.

In a perfect storm, my favourite topic of confidence has come to the forefront of the conversation as we saw new research released by CEW & Bain that:

‘women are twice as likely as men to receive feedback that they need to ‘display more confidence’

and Womens Agenda’s Ambition Report showing that;

‘51% said ‘confidence in my abilities’ could potentially hinder their ambitions over the next two years’ & this leads us to the double bind of confidence in the work place. Too confident and she will be labelled a ‘bitch’ or ‘bossy’. Not confident enough, and she lacks ‘leadership presence’ or ‘authority’.

Why is it that we forgive certain behaviours in male bosses, but we are quick to judge female bosses for the same behaviours?

When strong male leaders or managers act decisively, raise their voice, or put their foot down, it is accepted as behaviour of a strong leader, even when it is irrational.

Strong female leaders meanwhile, are often interpreted as bossy, bitchy, hormonal, or emotional when they raise their voice or act decisively. Indeed, many of the words commonly used to describe women in power are unflattering and often have negative, catty connotations. And let’s get really honest about this right now…… we have all done it before and will all probably do it again.

A survey by Gallup asking respondents their preferred gender of manager showed that 40% of female employees preferred male management, compared to 27% preferring a male boss.

The history of the Western World has been dominated by masculine figures of authority. This has resulted in society being accustomed to strong men in leadership whose behaviour is accepted more than females.

On the other hand, society is disproportionately critical of women in leadership or managerial roles. Not only are we critical of their actions in the professional world, but also disproportionately critical of their appearance and personal lives.

Studies have found that CEOs are four times more likely than the average person to have psychopathic tendencies. This equates to approximately one in five CEOs having psychopathic traits.

Given the higher proportion of male CEOs to female CEOs, there is clearly a high number of psychopathic men promoted to leadership positions who have had their psychopathic behaviour condoned and accepted by their peers and colleagues their whole lives.

The idea that many people hold that they “would prefer to work for a male boss than a female boss” is only perpetuating often unfounded biases. Male bosses have the equal potential to females to be micro-managers and political, yet these are stereotypically traits perceived in female managers.

Unfortunately, these stereotypes are self-reinforcing. If you already have a stereotype in your head of a bad female boss, when you actually encounter a female boss with some bad traits it will reinforce this assumption. It may also force you to overlook any positive traits she has and place an overemphasis on her negative behaviour.

If we are aiming to achieve higher levels of female leadership, we need to overcome stereotypes and hold both women and men accountable to the same standards of behaviour. Popular Unconscious Bias training can start to shine a spotlight on these often unconscious thoughts and decisions but this is only the tip of a very big iceberg. Supporting the development of women to find their voice and challenge situations where they feel bias is in action can be a powerful way to start to spotlight and change what for many is deeply embedded human behaviour.

If you have not seen the Pantene Ad, that shines a light on this subject you can watch it here

Kate Boorer is the Founder and CEO of Young Professional Women Australia, an organisation that accelerates the career progression and development of young female leaders working in Australian organisations.

Sign up to receive regular updates about our free networking events and webinars: https://goo.gl/PFbbxg And join our LinkedIn group here:https://lnkd.in/gEkgyEw

More Australian women than ever are starting their own businesses, with new mums in particular leaving corporate jobs to become ‘mumpreneurs’.

As a 2015 study by the Office for Women and Australian Bureau of Statistics revealed, the number of freelance businesses run by Australian women grew by almost 50 per cent over the past twenty years. This rate of growth is almost double that of men who have started their own enterprises over the same period, showing how rapidly the growth of female business owners has accelerated.

Nearly half of the women operating small businesses in Australia have dependent children, showing that close to half of female business owners are ‘mumpreneurs’.

For those mums who can successfully manage the challenges of launching and running their own business, the benefits are clear.

Rather than returning to a corporate role with limited flexibility, the appeal of being your own boss and managing your own schedule is undeniable. They are able to spend more time with their kids and manage their household more effectively.

Up to 70% of new mums consider starting their own business after the birth of their first child, according to research conducted by Australian mothers network Working Mother’s Connect (WMC).

However, the rise of the ‘mumpreneur’ is leaving a huge skill gap in the corporate resources pool with this continued (and growing) ‘leakage’ of females from the talent pipeline.

Research by WMC cited additional reasons that mothers do not return to their previous workplace include discrimination (whether perceived or real), fear of an inability to juggle work and home life; and worrying that taking up part-time may be seen as ‘career suicide’.

Data compiled by the Australian Bureau of Statistics has shown that more than 45 per cent of mothers do not return to their previous workplace after maternity leave. This means that the organisations will lose close to half their female talent once they leave to have children.

Women are ‘lost from the pipeline’ two or three times faster than their male colleagues from when they reach the mid-career, manager or senior manager level of their careers (PwC UK). Unsurprisingly, this rate is further accelerated for the level of female participation in leadership positions.

“Despite many advances in workplace equality, women are still not making it to the top in large numbers. While non-executive appointments have increased board-level diversity, many companies continue to report shortages of female senior managers” (International HR Adviser publication).

Businesses will experience difficulty achieving growth if they do not have a strong pipeline of talent coming up through the ranks.

So what is the answer?

Organisations must ensure that they provide adequate support for mothers returning to the workforce. In particular, cultural change within organisations need to support any flexible work arrangements implemented so that mothers (and fathers) do not feel they are sacrificing their careers for working flexibly to meet their family and home commitments. We need to make it easier for parents to have careers and raise families at the same time. It sounds simple and we only have to look at the Nordic countries to see how doable it is. Yet in Australia, while we have made progress there is still a long way to go and the responsibility sits with all parties’ individuals, organisations, governing agencies and of course society.

Kate Boorer is the Founder and CEO of Young Professional Women Australia, an organisation that accelerates the career progression and development of young female leaders working in Australian organisations.

There is lots of discussion about globalisation, technology and the impact that it will have on the future of many professions. Without a doubt we are seeing qualified professionals having to reskill and reframe their experience to identify new career pathways and opportunities. Regardless of your technical skills or professional orientation the ability to navigate success in our 24/7 globally-connected world will depend on three essential work and some would argue life skills.

Focus - the ability to minimise distractions and get things doneThe ability to prioritise competing tasks effectively; &Managing stakeholder expectations successfully based on #1 & #2 above

Focus

The impact on workforce productivity of distraction has been well documented. A study by Employerbility showed that 55% of people are frequently distracted at work, with only 33% of these able to effectively disregard these distractions. Alarmingly, this leads to each employee being unproductive for an average of four hours per week. The key to combating these distractions is focus, which whilst easy to apply in theory, presents a mine field of real challenges.

Contrary to what was once assumed to be the only way to manage the demands of modern life, the act of multitasking has been proven to counterintuitively hinder productivity. As research by Zhen Wang shows, multitasking in fact decreases productivity and reduces the quality of work produced due to the splitting of brain functions. Therefore, the ability to minimise distractions and focus on one task at a time is vital in delivering quality work more effectively.

As Maura Thomas wrote for Harvard Business Review, we must employ ‘attention management’ skills, even more crucially than ‘time management’ skills to achieve our prioritised to do lists.

Prioritise

Our modern day reality means that rarely will you get everything you would like done in a working week. Instead most executives are left with an extensive ‘to do’ list that at best has seen some progress if not extension as more things are added than triumphantly crossed off. Gone are the days where success simply required hours of hard work and dedication to arrive at the bottom of ‘the list’. We must now be able to make fast, strategic decisions about what is most important to do in any given moment and be able to manage what must be compromised for its cause. In each week and day, we must re-evaluate which work is the highest priority and devote our complete focus to getting this done without distraction.

Greg McKeown explains in his best-selling ‘Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less’ that focusing completely on getting the right things done is what is absolutely essential. McKeown writes that by applying a systematic discipline for determining what is most important to spend our time and energy, we can prioritise the most high value tasks while reducing time spent on work of low importance.

In order to work “simpler and saner”, Leo Babauta instructs that practical ways to achieve this include segmenting your day into blocks devoted to different types of work, completing 2-3 difficult tasks earlier in the day; and writing separate to do lists for work of different contexts.

Manage Stakeholders

With the multiplicity of tasks and priorities, comes the multiplicity of stakeholders you have committed to deliver work for. The third key still in working effectively in today’s frantic world is successfully managing stakeholders. Crucial to this is frequent communication and updates on the progress or problems encountered with work delivery.

In most companies, but particularly at executive level, stakeholders will have limited time and attention span to read updates on how your work for them is progressing. Any communication to them should therefore be concise, brief and focused on results. There should be clarity around what you can deliver and when, and clear demonstration of accountability to provide updates as you go. Most importantly, make sure your stakeholders are aware of hold ups, roadblocks and any actions steps or help you are seeking to move forward on priorities.

The ability to minimise distraction and retrain focus, efficiently prioritise tasks and communicate in a clear and influential way with stakeholders will be crucial to professional success in any environment.

Kate Boorer is the Founder and CEO of Young Professional Women Australia, an organisation that accelerates the career progression and development of young female leaders working in Australian organisations.

With statistics showing that one in three Australian women will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lives, domestic violence is clearly a major societal challenge no longer simply confined to the home. According to a report released by KPMG in 2015, “around 1.4 million Australian women are living or have lived in an abusive relationship, and 800,000 of those are in the paid workforce.” As the One In Three campaign points out, this is also a problem affecting men. According to the Australian Institute of Criminology, between 2010 and 2012 almost two in five homicide victims were from domestic homicide and of those almost three (in five) were committed by an intimate partner. Furthermore, domestic abuse extends beyond physical violence, it can also include emotional, sexual and financial abuse.

Employers have a critical role to play in confronting domestic violence. Raising awareness about domestic violence and driving cultural change for the organisation to be better equipped to recognise and deal with domestic violence is crucial. Studies by White Ribbon reveal domestic violence costs Australian businesses nearly half a billion dollars each year in lost profit and productivity with almost two thirds of women living in violent relationships being in paid work. Not only will these victims have their performance at work negatively influenced, but they will likely have a destabilising effect on others in the workplace.

Given the magnitude of abuse taking place, the link between domestic abuse and the workplace is undeniable. Any serious issues impacting employees will inevitably impact their performance at work, and consequently their employers. Not only that, many of these victims have developed trusted relationships with peers or bosses who may have the ability to provide a supportive environment and navigate them towards help. Given the links between domestic violence and workplace bullying organisations need to recognise the strong links between perpetrating workplace bullying and domestic abuse. As Gary & Ruth Numie point out in ‘The Bully-Free Workplace’, not only are victims on the payroll, but abusers are too.

The Workplace Bullying Institute explains, victims of domestic abuse who are already emotionally vulnerable can more easily fall prey to workplace bullies. Inversely, bullying at work can also often cause domestic violence at home.

Through condoning toxic workplace cultures that allow bullying, organisations may be unwittingly facilitating domestic abuse. When organisations fail to act in holding bullies to account, they are facilitating a culture of emotional abuse in the workplace.

While the reasons that victims may not leave their abusers are complex and varied, a primary reason that victims to stay in abusive relationships is financial dependence. The Domestic Violence Counts census conducted by the National Network to End Domestic Violence found in the United States, “the demand for financial empowerment services is a direct result of financial abuse, which occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases”. Therefore not only do support networks need to provide adequate services to allow victims to achieve financial independence, but ability to maintain performance at work is also critical.

Organisations have increasingly come to recognise the link between domestic violence and its impacts on the workplace. Indeed, many Australian businesses have now come to view domestic violence as a workplace issue and are implementing policies to support employees who are experiencing domestic violence. If victims feel supported by their colleagues, they may feel more empowered to deal with violence and instability in their personal lives.

White Ribbon’s Workplace Accreditation Program independently assesses workplaces on how effectively they are taking steps to prevent and respond to violence against women. Accreditation as a white ribbon workplace shows “deep commitment to stopping violence against women in Australia”.

So which businesses are actively tackling domestic violence through workplace policies?

Telstra is considered a leader in the area, adopting policies in November 2014 including a new enterprise agreement that allows 10 days extra paid ‘domestic violence’ leave per year. This allows victims the time to deal with court dates, medical appointments, relocation demands and other potential associated time commitments. A key aspect of this policy is that no proof is required to qualify for domestic violence leave, considering the word of their employees as proof enough. In addition, managers are trained to be better equipped to provide support for their staff, such as the ability to direct them to appropriate support services and flexible work arrangements if needed.

Origin Energy took this principle even further, providing domestic violence leave that doesn’t reduce other leave entitlements and is uncapped, depending on individual circumstances..

Given the clear link between domestic violence and the workplace, businesses must continue to respond to issues of domestic abuse and how they manifest in the workplace through culture and bullying. Employers must also play an active role in raising awareness and supporting sufferers of violence if Australia is going to confront this serious societal challenge effectively.

Kate Boorer is the Founder and CEO of Young Professional Women Australia, an organisation that accelerates the career progression and development of young female leaders working in Australian organisations.

Welcome to The Australian Salary Chronicles, where we’re bringing transparency to negotiation of both remuneration and progression opportunities for women, one story at a time. Very little attention is given to the good news stories when it comes to the gender pay gap in Australia and we want to highlight these to inspire and support other women navigate more of these conversations

We ask women to share their experiences negotiating their salary/progression opportunity and what their advice is for others doing the same. We share these stories anonymously so they feel comfortable speaking as openly and as freely as possible.

This week we’re speaking with an experienced finance professional who was negotiating a salary review following a restructure.

Title: Financial Controller

Location: Sydney

Salary Offered: $148K

Negotiated Salary: $165K

What was the situation when you decided to negotiate your salary?

I was working in a finance leadership role at a large company ($250M+ revenue) that had operations across both Australia and New Zealand. I entered the organisation in a traditional finance manager role at a salary of $120K, which was fair given the role I was doing (Australia only) and the team I was leading (a team of 7 including direct and indirect reports) at the time. Six months or so after starting there, a new CFO came on board and completed a restructure ultimately targeting a leaner finance operation. The layer of leadership above me, including my boss, was removed which meant that I would subsequently be reporting directly to the CFO. My role hadn’t officially changed, however the nature and scope of the work I was doing had as I had to pick up the work of those who had left. These changes were not reflected in either title or my level of pay however I was only 6 months into this role and was not comfortable bringing up the conversation of remuneration at such an early stage with a new boss I was still trying to build rapport with.

Roll forward 6 months, and of course more changes were on the horizon. Keen to decrease headcount and ultimately overheads, a decision was made to consolidate the Australian and New Zealand Finance Operation and I was promoted to Financial Controller ANZ, whilst my New Zealand equivalent moved into another area of the business. In addition to the additional operational responsibilities in New Zealand, I was asked to take seat on both the Australian and New Zealand Leadership teams.

A new title and additional geographic responsibilities meant I certainly felt entitled to a higher salary; especially given my role meant I had knowledge of confidential salary data of both my new colleagues on the leadership team and other finance leaders who had previously occupied equivalent roles.

When I sat down with my CFO for the salary discussion I was nervous and very unprepared. I had a significant amount of respect for this man and at the same time had contributed a lot in the time I had been with the organisation both in supporting headcount savings, improving process and procedures and building strong relationships with leaders in the business. Our first salary discussion started at around $148K a number he put on the table. This was a substantial increase over my existing salary and a substantial income for someone of my age and experience, yet I felt both disappointed in my boss. It was not about the money – I was young and had very little financial commitments and needs but...it was about fairness.

Fairness – when compared to my leadership colleagues (all male) who were paid at least 30% more than what was being offered and with whom I was now expected to hold a similar level of accountability and responsibility.

Fairness – when considering the significant headcount reduction and subsequent cost savings I had been instrumental in realising.

And finally, fairness when compared to salaries paid to past finance colleagues in the organisation who had been in roles that had far smaller responsibilities and accountabilities.

I left the initial conversation and discussed the situation with my mum who quite promptly told me to get back in that room and negotiate (to be honest a concept that was very foreign to me at the time). Apprehensive, I opened up the subject the next day with my CFO who was not pleased to be discussing the matter. He did not agree that that new role warranted a higher salary than was being discussed given my age and years experience. Upon reflection his views probably had more to do with what he was being paid at the same stage in his career than it did with my situation.

The process of negotiation was awkward, uncomfortable and draining, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I had to fight, justify and take a pretty hard line against a person I really respected despite being confident of my value and contribution to the organisation. Eventually after I challenged what the role would be paid if I was male, 5 years older and reported to another Senior Executive in the business, he relented and asked what ‘number’ I wanted. I could have gone much higher, to be honest I had no idea what ‘number’ I wanted, just a fairer remuneration for the role and responsibilities I was assuming. In the end I settled at the half way mark – half way between what he was offering and half way between what I know my colleagues and predecessors had been paid.

The whole process left me quite dissatisfied and disappointed in my leader, ironic for someone who had just negotiated themselves a $40k payrise. But it wasn’t about the money and at some level I felt betrayed that someone I trusted, for whom I had worked my backside off for did not see this same value.

Reflecting on this now, I know that preparation is crucial and had I gone in with something on paper, something visual, factual that we could point to, it may have been easier. I always had the upper hand in the negotiation, because I was so crucial to the success of the team and because I had already contributed so much without fair reward and recognition. I was confident in my contribution, but it was hard to maintain that confidence when we were putting a financial value on that. It was and still is the toughest conversation of my career.

Prepare, practise so that you get comfortable with discussing your value in such a subjective context and be clear about what a good outcome is.

Are you negotiating a number (salary), a title, a change in working conditions /hours or a change in other working conditions?

No one can do it for you. You have the most at stake and you must take the driver’s seat. Quite simply you must ask.

YPWA are committed to closing the gender pay gap in Australia. If you are a women and need some support negotiating a salary or career related issue, why not attend one of our Free Monthly Group Mentoring Sessions. To receive details of this and other YPWA Events register at https://goo.gl/PFbbx

If you are a woman with a story to share on negotiating salary/remuneration or progression opportunity, please contact Jasia@ypwa.com.au.

At International Women's Day in March 2016, NSW Premier Mike Baird reflected that non-flexible working “makes no sense in the modern workplace”, and that the option to work flexibly should “be the norm for both men and women”. 24/7 consumer demand has led to 24/7 customer service and for those that operate in multinationals this means that late night conference calls that cross time zones are the norm.

In today’s workforce, ‘flexibility’ is becoming less of an exception, and more of an expected norm. Employers are increasingly being pressured to offer flexibility for their staff, in the interest of becoming more productive and attracting top talent. Indeed, many workers now expect a degree of flexibility with their roles.

But what does flexible working look like in reality?

The concept of flexibility is no longer limited to describing varying hours for parents who need to drop off and pick up children from school. In order to attract and retain the best talent, organisations must provide a wide range of flexible working options to cater for a variety of lifestyles – be it parental caring needs, or other commitments outside work.

The Workplace Gender Equality Agency says that momentum for flexible working is growing, and recognises that “both women and men may have caring responsibilities or other interests while still being committed to their work.”

Across the public and private sector, organisations are embracing the concept of flexible working. But how is this being implemented and managed effectively in practice?

The NSW Government has also announced that by 2019, 100% of NSW government sector roles will be flexible by default, and that a job-sharing register would be created. Baird said that the culture of the workplace needs to be transformed “so that it is normal for people to work in a way that suits their life stage and the needs of their families”. This could incorporate working less hours over more days, more hours over fewer days, starting and finishing earlier, working from home; or job-sharing.

Caltex for example has implemented some innovative flexible working arrangements. One of these includes a job share arrangement where two engineers worked three months on, three months off at a refinery to allow significant lead-time for replacement training and succession planning.

Telstra’s ‘All Roles Flex’ policy, saw the company adopt “a new and disruptive position around mainstreaming flexibility that would amplify productivity benefits, lift engagement, establish a clear market proposition and also enable a new way of working”.

Telstra CEO, Andrew Penn has said that the new system has benefited the company “in terms of diversity, inclusion, employee engagement and attracting and retaining good people”.

Former Woolworths CEO, Grant O’Brien said “Our business model demands flexibility, but one size does not fit all. We need to make it work for our business and for our individual people”.

Clearly, there is no one size fits all solution when it comes to working flexibly. Organisations must be willing to accommodate individual needs into flexible working arrangements if they are going to remain competitive into the future and employees have to push forward challenging old accepted models of flexibility to develop a new culture of what flexibility means in Australia.

Kate Boorer is the Founder and CEO of Young Professional Women Australia, an organisation that accelerates the career progression and development of young female leaders working in Australian organisations.

I had the pleasure of sitting on a panel discussion some months ago focusing on career development and guidance for young women in the media industry. After the formality of the session was over, I joined one of the tables for some discussion about what was shared through the session and more importantly what the advice practically meant for these women as they looked to implement it in their real lives. As we talked, I was struck at the consistent theme when discussing the ever popular and often mystical – work/life balance. When asked what was getting in the way or what their organisation could do to support them, what I really heard was a desperate need for permission. Permission to leave on time, work more flexibly in whatever manner they desired or simply permission to not check work emails over the weekend or weeknight.

In my experience this need for permission is not shared by our male counterparts. Where women often apply self-imposing unconscious rules, men in stark contrast just go ahead and do, without any consideration to the thought that there was ever a need to ask for permission. I have seen this play out in many different ways. One that has had the biggest impact for me recently was a male partner in a professional services firm who talked about his experience of school ‘pick ups’ and ‘drop offs’, a responsibility he shared evenly with his wife.

‘I don’t give a second thought when leaving the office at 5pm to pick up the kids. My female colleagues on the other hand, talk about feeling guilty, worrying about what clients and colleagues will think.’

Whilst in some circumstances there may be clear and valid reasons for this concern, most of the time when we have encouraged our clients to openly discuss this guilt with their stakeholders no reasons have emerged to justify their original concern.

Communications expert Dr Patty Ann Tublin phrases it well “The fact is, many women ask for permission to succeed in business and men do not”. When an opportunity presents itself, women are slowed down asking “may I,” while “men are vigorously ploughing ahead working on projects and other tasks that will give them both visibility and access to the decision-makers critical for one’s upward mobility”.

So what is it that makes women assume we need to ask permission?

We already know that male and female minds are wired differently. As neurologist and psychologist from the University of California Louann Brizendine explores in “The Female Brain”, we have larger areas of our brains devoted to communication, processing emotions and reading social cues than male brains do.

It is these biological traits that make women feel the need to constantly apologise, seek social approval and ask for permission. While this is not a surprise to learn in itself, if we are more aware of our inherent neurological urges, will we be able to tame these impulses?

Add the ‘good girl’ syndrome to the biology, the urge to want to please others all the time and follow the rules and you have a complex and often unconscious road block.

Constant permission seeking behaviours may limit our ability to achieve goals, build the career we want and live our lives the way we want. For those of us striving for flexibility to achieve our desired work/life balance, constantly asking permission can be a significant barrier to attaining it. While you’re asking to be allowed to do something, your male colleagues may already be doing it.

Sometimes the age-old phrase “It’s better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission” would be sound advice. Next time you find yourself looking to someone else to validate your decision or provide permission, stop for a second and instead ask yourself first – do you really need to ask?

Kate Boorer is the Founder and CEO of Young Professional Women Australia, an organisation that accelerates the career progression and development of young female leaders working in Australian organisations.

© PhotoSpin.com/Todd Arena

Men and women have very different brains and they do network differently, says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of Why Him, Why Her. “The male brain is more compartmentalized; they get straight to the point, they know the goal. They tend to decide right away, with little to no small-talk, on whether they will work with you or not.”

On the other hand, according to Cathy Goddard of Lighthouse Visionary Strategies:

“Women often take a selfless approach and are more apt to consider what they have to give others. They also tend to seek advice for both personal and business requirements…whether recommendations for a hair stylist or a graphic designer. One other differentiator I’ve noticed is that women hesitate to ask for what they want, whereas men are more comfortable making direct demands.”

When it comes to networking, everyone—both in your professional and personal life—has the potential to become a useful contact. So how is you network important? Do men and women network in the same way?

Men and women network for career advancement and for building up their businesses. However, how they network can vary, particularly in how they connect with a contact.

Men typically call on a contact as needed, often doing a quick search to see which connection can help them in any given situation. Whereas women tend to nurture relationships, often keeping the possibilities in the back of their mind in how to best utilize a contact for the future.

As a result, women often assume that people may feel “used” if asked to do a favor without first cultivating a bond. Men seem to have no problem with picking up the phone, calling someone they’ve just met and asking for help. And they don’t mind if others do the same to them. In this situation, men are more assertive in getting results.

If women are too focused on building deliberate relationships, they may end up holding themselves back for several reasons:

They think they may be seen as less competent if they ask for helpThey are afraid of being rejected—men don’t get caught up this issue. They assume if a person can help, they will; if they can’t, they won’t.Women hold back if they sense a person doesn’t have time to listen to them. Men, on the other hand, get straight to the point, thereby taking time out of the equation.Women consider the consequences (real or imagined) if they ask for advice and don’t follow it. Men assume that advice is ‘take or leave it’, no hard feelings.

In order to build a stronger network and move ahead:

Target 2-3 people to reach out to this monthAsk yourself how you can you bring value to someone else? And imagine how they can help you—either now or sometime in the future.

Want an opportunity to connect with a colleague or stakeholder? Why not invite them to our annual International Women’s Day Conference in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane in March. With a dual gender agenda both Men and Women are invited to join us in our discussion on ‘Accelerating Change’ in 2016. For more information please see our website.

© PhotoSpin.com/Monkey Business Images

According to Timothy Wilson, professor of psychology at the University of Virginia and author of the book Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious, we are faced with over 11 million pieces of information at any given moment. The brain can only process about 40 of those bits of information, which is why it develops shortcuts. These shortcuts and reliance on past experiences help us to make assumptions in the blink of an eye. This in turn has a dramatic effect on how we make decisions…without even realizing it. Scientists refer to this as an “unconscious basis.” Believe it or not, it’s happening to you right now, even as you read this.

Most of us like to think of ourselves as enlightened—that we are ethical and unbiased. However, the truth is that we all fall short of our embellished self-perception.

A study at Yale University asked science researchers to rate two candidates for a lab manager position—a male and a female—both with the same qualifications. The group of participants (who were made up of both males and females) consistently rated the male candidate as more qualified. This translates into a huge issue in the workplace.

Is there a way to change unconscious biases that influence how we interact with others and who we value most at work? There's no simple approach, however, here are a few places you can begin:

Focus on the skills

A study done with the Clayman Institute of Gender Studies at Stanford found that the number of women musicians in orchestras had increased (from 5% to 25%) once musicians began auditioning behind screens so that judges could only hear them, not see them. By focusing on the skills of those around you, it will help eliminate some of the biases you may bring to your decision making process.

Acknowledge “microagressions”

All throughout the day, we send subtle messages to the people around us through our body language, the words we use and the actions we chose. Derald Wing Sue, professor of counseling psychology at Columbia University calls these signals "microagressions," and they can have an impact on those around us.

In his book, Microaggressions in Everyday Life, Sue writes that these signals communicate, “whether intentionally or unintentionally: hostile, derogatory, or negative racial, gender, sexual-orientation, and religious slights and insults."

Be aware of your tone and how your behavior impacts those around you. Even the smallest details can make a big difference.

Talk about it

If you notice it, call someone out on his or her bias. This can go a long way in helping people become more aware of the judgments they are making. An open discussion at work or at home is the first step in making a change. When it was noticed at the Google headquarters that the tradition of naming the conference rooms after scientists heavily favored male scientists, the company changed it to reflect a more balanced representation of the sexes.

Becoming more aware and sharing our insights of where and how our unconscious bias is reflected in our decisions will make a difference in uncovering and reducing unconscious bias in the norms, opinions, and structures around us.

This month we were joined by Michaela Betchley, Executive coach and Image consultant - trained and certified by the Institute of Executive Coaching and Leadership (IECL), and First Impressions Image Training & Consulting - with specialist expertise in personal and professional branding. What I love about what Michaela brings to her clients is the impact style can have on confidence and presence so come along with lots of questions.

The comment that resonated for me the most from our discussion with Michaela was the fact that how we present ourselves physcially matters whether we like it or not. Whilst I do not believe it is fair research shows us as humans first impressions count so use it to your advantage.

Listen to the Interview here.

Feel free to stay in touch with Michaela on Linkedin or via her wesbitehttp://www.michaelabetchley.com.

© PhotoSpin.com/Yucan Chen

Do you believe that prioritizing family over work is the top barrier to women’s career advancement? Let’s take a look at one answer to that question.

Fifty years ago, the Harvard Business School voted to admit women into the two-year MBA Program. Since that time, more than 12,000 women have graduated from the program. In fact, the MBA, Doctoral and Executive Education programs now have a 40% female make up.

In order to celebrate the 50th anniversary of women’s admission, Harvard endeavored on a bold project to create an extensive and inventive survey on their alumni to capture the arc of their lives and careers. They did this in hopes of gaining a better understanding of work, gender roles, and knowledge that would allow them to address the realities their students would have to confront in the future.

When questioned about the meaning of success:

A woman in her forties, who left HBS about 20 years ago, reported: “For me, at age 25, success was defined by career success. Now I think of success much differently: Raising happy, productive children, contributing to the world around me, and pursuing work that is meaningful to me.”

These sentiments were echoed by a man in his fifties, for whom success early on was “becoming a highly paid CEO of a medium-to-large business.”

And today? Success is, “Striking a balance between work and family and giving back to society.”

When respondents were asked to rate the importance of nine career and life dimensions:

Nearly 100%, regardless of gender, said that “quality of personal and family relationships” was “very” or “extremely” important.

With regard to career importance, men and women were again in agreement:

Their ratings of key dimensions of professional life, such as “work that is meaningful and satisfying” and “professional accomplishments,” were the same, and the majority said that “opportunities for career growth and development” were important to them, with women actually rating them slightly higher.

Even though their responses were similar, reality played out quite differently between the male and female alumni. In fact, it was discovered that among those graduates who are employed full-time, men are more likely to have direct reports and to be in senior management positions. And in general, the HBS study found that women were less satisfied with their careers:

Whereas about 50% to 60% of men across the three generations told us they were “extremely satisfied” or “very satisfied” with their experiences of meaningful work, professional accomplishments, opportunities for career growth, and compatibility of work and personal life, only 40% to 50% of women were similarly satisfied on the same dimensions.

And what about those women who left the workforce after having children? According to the HBS research:

The survey data and other research suggest that when high-achieving, highly educated professional women leave their jobs after becoming mothers, only a small number do so because they prefer to devote themselves exclusively to motherhood; the vast majority leave reluctantly and as a last resort, because they find themselves in unfulfilling roles with dim prospects for advancement.

Discrimination, Bias or Choice? Even with the plethora of research and opinion on this matter- I sometimes wonder whether it all really matters. Organizational culture and societal expectations can be significant pressures that impact the decisions women and men make when it comes to family and career. The time for policy and process is past. It’s time to leap into a discussion about the real challenges affecting men and women in the home and workplace, and the strategies we can use to overcome them. ‘Accelerating Change’ in 2016 is the theme for our annual International Women’s Day Conference. Both men and women are invited to join us as we look at the real issues preventing organizations and individuals achieving the gender balance we aspire to.

For more information please see our website.

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Mentors and sponsors are buzz words in the business world. Both are invaluable in terms of personal and professional development. But what really makes the difference when it comes to making career progress?

I think we can all agree that having a mentor to influence and inspire you can be an invaluable experience. But if you really want to get ahead, you’ll need more than just words of wisdom to get you to the top. A sponsor has the power to put your career into overdrive.

According to Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor, while there are many different types of mentors available, sponsorships are much harder to come by. Many high-potential women make the mistake of focusing on role models rather than powerfully placed sponsors- and sponsors are the ones who can make a palpable difference in your career. Research from the Center for Talent Innovation, where Hewlett is the founder and CEO, indicates that people with sponsors are 23% more likely to move up in their career than those without sponsors. In addition:

When it came to asking for a pay raise, the majority of men (67%) and women (70%) resisted confronting their boss. However, with the backing of a sponsor at work, nearly half of men and 38% of women made the request.

When it came to getting assigned to a high-visibility team or stretch assignment, some 43% of male employees and 36% of females approached their manager and made the request. With a sponsor, however, the numbers rose to 56% and 44%, respectively.

Obviously, finding a powerful person to open doors for you can help in any career. With a bit of strategizing, here are some ways in which you can connect with a sponsor:

Get creative in joining networks filled with effective people

Be strategic about the networks you join. Make yourself visible in networks that will allow you to have access to a diverse range of influential people.

Build trust and make it easy for them to see your strengths

Remember that these executives are putting their name on the line to back your career goals and ambitions. The sponsorship relationship has much more at stake for both parties. It’s an investment that must be earned.

“Trust is at the heart of this relationship. When I put my faith in up-and-coming talent and become their sponsor, I need to know I can totally depend on them — because they are, after all, walking around with my brand on.”

— Kerrie Peraino, global head of talent at American Express.

Focus on the transactional nature of the relationship

When you are seeking a sponsor, focus on what you can bring to the table. Hewlett says, “Make yourself valuable. The big principle is to give before you get.”

How you can give in this relationship is to simply to put your best foot forward. Constantly strive for high performance, inspire confidence, and find ways to use your unique skill set. Expect your sponsor to be more of a gatekeeper, not a wise counselor or sounding board to your troubles that a mentor is, especially at the start of the relationship. For this reason, avoid emotionally investing in your sponsor to be the only and ultimate enabler of your career success.

While sponsorship is neither the silver bullet to gender balance at the leadership level, it is one extremely useful tool that both emerging male and female leaders can leverage to support their career goals and aspirations.

Photo credit: Pat Neary via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-SA

For decades, women have been entering the workforce in ever increasing numbers, yet in a Catalyst study (date), 46% of women surveyed named “exclusion from informal networks” as one of the biggest factors that they felt was holding them back from advancing their careers.

Establishing a network is built on informal relationships. In fact, much of corporate formal and informal networking is still tied to natural social activities such as playing a round of golf or attending sporting events. The question becomes: How can women find their place in these accepted social networking opportunities especially if sports are not their thing?

No one is suggesting that women need to act like men or that you must force interest around an activity. But it’s important to recognize that some level of business is always going to be conducted away from the office. Informal relationships will continue to thrive in areas such as sporting events and the social scene, so you must be where they are.

You may actually enjoy playing sports and attending sporting events. If that’s the case, then dive right in! Your colleagues will appreciate your passion and you’ll likely enjoy yourself. At the same time, you’ll be exposed to new a new networking space and make some interesting connections.

If sports aren’t your thing but you are keen to learn or don’t feel like passing up the opportunity to connect, then go and keep your mind open. It’s perfectly fine to admit that you don’t know much about the sport or activity. When participating in the event, allow yourself to be good enough instead of trying to be perfect. And if you aren’t an expert, chances are your colleagues will relish the chance to show off their knowledge.

If you don’t have the natural networking advantages of sports, then focus on creating your own networking spaces. Ideas may include;

Inviting a colleague to attend a conference or industry event with youArranging an informal lunch and inviting some internal and external stakeholders to come together and discuss a topic of interestAsk a guest speaker to a breakfast meeting or screen an interesting TED talk that can be used as the basis of discussion with some colleagues or clientsJoin a professional association and attend an event of interestInviting a colleague / stakeholder to grab a coffee or a quick sandwich over a lunch breakPurchasing tickets to a concert or festival that is an area of interest and inviting others to join you there.

Building your network both inside your organization and with external stakeholders is crucial to professional success in any industry and role. Even something as simple as sharing an interesting article with someone via email or Linkedin can start a conversation.

It is no longer enough to work hard. Being visible, profiling your skills and success, and building relationships with stakeholders will ensure that you are top of mind when opportunities present themselves. Yes, for some of us it may not come naturally, but we all have subjects and activities that we are passionate about. Find one that you share in common with others and use that platform as an opportunity to connect.

Need an excuse? Why not invite a colleague or stakeholder to our annual International Women’s Day Conference in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane in March. With a dual gender agenda both Men and Women are invited to join us in our discussion on ‘Accelerating Change’ in 2016. For more information please see our website.

Image © PhotoSpin.com/MonkeyBusiness Images

I have sat in too many conferences and heard too many women and men tell young women to ‘fake it till you make it’ when talking about confidence and success.

By definition if you are faking something you are positioning yourself as not genuine, an imitation or counterfeit. This is poor advice for women who are aspiring to build trust & influence with stakeholders.

Leadership development has evolved to include words like authenticity, vulnerability and safe to fail. Yet when it comes to the challenging subject of confidence – the advice is counter intuitive to these notions.

Anyone that have tried this strategy before knows that the truth is it’s hard work, there is a whole lot of ‘crazy’ going on inside which is hard to conceal and rarely is it truly successful. This is fundamental because it is very hard to conceal physically, mentally and emotionally a lack of confidence in another human being. Even if you think you have nailed it, subconsciously and energetically those around you will pick up on a lack of congruency.

A better alternative is to sort your stuff out so that you show up with true authentic confidence. Many women wait to feel 130% confident to apply for that job, promotion or put their hand up to ask a question at the company wide conference. Our practical experience over the past 12months running confidence workshops with many young female professionals proves what we already know. There is no simple answer. I often joke that a confidence pill would be just as sought after as the miracle weight loss pill. The truth is like weight loss; reconnecting and building your confidence require a conscious and courageous approach.

Where to start?

- Start small with small steps. Dr. Russ Harris, author of ‘The Confidence Gap” says that act of confidence comes before the feeling of confidence. Identify low risk situations where you have some confidence – and act. This is about building a feedback loop to reinforce and slowly expand your confidence and comfort zone

- Prepare for a question you can’t answer. The reality is in today’s complex world it is highly possible, even in a room where you are a subject matter expect that someone, somewhere will know more than you. A lack of confidence is often a concern of being put on the spot and not knowing what to say. Prepare in advance how you will react to such a situation such as “ I have not thought about it from that perspective, perhaps you can share more of what you mean” or “that’s a great point, let me spend some time over the next 24 hours looking at that and come back to you…”

- Manage your physiology. Knowing how to take charge of what is going on in your body, mind and emotions is crucial to maintaining true confidence. We have seen women significantly impact the level of confidence they show up with by physically holding their body strong and tall when they walk into a room, or by developing strategies to turn down the level of self-talk that can clutter an already full mind.

‘Fake it till you make it’ is not a strategy. In most cases it is a recipe for disaster all around. Confidence like any skill can be developed over time. Participants of our 9-month Development and Mentor Program demonstrated average increases in confidence of 30% to an overall assessment of 8.3 (out of 10) by the end of the program. Yes it takes time, there is no magic pill but it is worth it for true leaders who want to walk their talk.

The next intake of the YPWA Development & Mentor Program commences in Feb 16. To hear from past participants of the program and obtain more details visit http://www.ypwa.com.au/#!blank/c2sz

To find out more about our practical Confidence Workshops, please visit www.ypwa.com.au/#!about/c20r9

More women on boards

More women in senior leadership roles

Equal pay for equal work

How long have we been having this same conversation?

Much is talked about the number and great debate is still had over the purpose and value of quotas when it comes to driving gender equality outcomes in business. So much time is spent on the outcome or the current result i.e. the number of women in leadership. Less is given to the reasons or perceived barriers that block their career progress. Frustrated with so much focus on the what and so little on the why, we decided to do some research of women in Australia to find out what they see as the major barriers to career progression (more on that next week). Today let’s look at the what.

Late last year the Workplace Gender Equality Agency released Australia’s gender equality scorecard for 2013-14. (https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/2013-14_summary_report_website.pdf )

What was so fantastic about this research was the broad focus on organisations across Australia and the large representation of Australian companies and employees, estimated to be one third of Australia’s total labour force.

The information within the report is rich and for the first time organisations have a benchmark at an industry and national level to compare their own gender scorecard against and we would encourage them to do so.

Some of the key insights and messages from the data

There are more men in the pipeline

Only 35.8 % of full- time workers are female (which represent 57.6% of the workforce by employment status). This means that overall there is nearly 1 female for every 2 males working fulltime in an organisation. Whilst this overall number and gap closes when we include the part -time employment status the reality is that there are more men in the pipeline for leadership roles than women.

Whilst this representation is reflected in the lower leadership levels (39.8% of other managers are female as compared with 60.2% male), it changes as we climb the leadership ladder where women represent;

31.7% Senior managers27.8% of Other executives / general managers26.1% of Key management personnel17.3% of CEO’s

The part time problem

Whilst there are some leadership roles that could be worked in a true part time capacity, the reality for most organisations and women is that this would not be an effective outcome or option for the organisation. There are a few scenarios where a C-Suite role has been delivered via job-sharing agreements (ie 2 women both working part time deliver the equivalent of 1 full time position) however this is more the exception than the rule.

15.3% of working women do so in a part time capacity as compared to 5.1% of men. Anecdotally in our experience the main drivers that keep women working part-time, as opposed to fulltime, is the lack of flexibility to work full time and support family demands in an effective way.

The pipeline shrinks - Women opt out of being an employee

32 per cent of Australian small businesses are run by women and the number is growing.

At least half the conversations I have with young women within our community (Young Professional Women Australia) talk to me about running their own business ‘some day’. While self-employment is not for everyone the amount of women, even within my own network, who have ‘opted out’ of a corporate career in favor of a more flexible opportunity such as consulting, working for a small start up or even starting their own small business has grown significantly.

As more women opt out, the pipeline of female talent progressing through the leadership ranks will also shrink posing significant challenges to organisational goals around gender diversity and leadership.

What is the answer?

If there was a simple one – we would not still be talking about it years after gender diversity and leadership became a priority.

Step 1 – Understand your pipeline

Australia’s gender equality scorecard for 2013-14 provide the opportunity for all organisations to compare themselves against the workforce and use it as a minimum benchmark.

Compare the proportion of women that work full time / part time and casual in your organisation against those in the scorecard.Compare the proportion of women that hold leadership roles by level (ie manager, senior manager, other executive manager, key management personel etc) in your organisation against those in the scorecard and those in your industry.

Step 2 – Understand why

Start conversations with women and men in your organisation to understand the actual and perceived barriers to career progression in your organisation. Both are important, as the ability to remove barriers that are perceived as opposed to actual can be quick wins for all involved. The actual barriers are where the real work and change begins but the first step toward achieving change is understanding the real barriers in the first place.

Over the past 2 months YPWA have been undertaking a study to explore the perceived barriers of career progression for women in Australia. Results from this study will be released at our annual conference celebrating International Women’s Day on the 6th March (Syd) and 12th March (Melb). More details are available at http://www.ypwa.com.au/#!events/c1vw1

Step 3 – Reframe part time

Today for many, work extends well beyond the traditional 9-5, Monday to Friday working week. With teams that transcend borders, clients that transact globally and customers who demand service 24/7, business is fast becoming a 24/7 requirement. As organisations adjust both strategies and relationships with employees to meet the demands of this new world so too will the opportunity for organisations to offer new models of the working weeks.

Depending on the role and organisation, part time can easily be reframed to full time opportunities where 25/30 hours are designated core working hours each week , used to meet with clients, staff and colleagues. The balance (or remaining full time equivalent hours) are completed at points throughout the week (7 days not 5) in accordance with the employee’s personal demands. This not only provides opportunities for female talent to operate in a fulltime equivalent capacity in some of the more senior leadership roles but also a likely side effect of enhanced productivity.

The theme of International Women’s Day is ‘Make it Happen’. For too long the conversation has focused on the numbers. It’s time to focus on the reasons organisations are not achieving the gender equality they aspire to and start the movement forward to removing both perceived and actual barriers.

It’s a New Year and by now most people are rolling back into the office in a mix of holiday highs and New Year dread. Inboxes are flooded with newsletters capitalizing on New Year resolutions, as are the TV ads that talk about the magic powders and pills that will magically help you drop 7 kilos in a matter of weeks!

Even if you are not the New Year resolution type, it is hard not to be reflective as the start of a new year brings new beginnings. For years I have had a mixed relationship with goal setting, clear that it has helped me consciously create my year ahead (and life) as opposed to unknowingly allowing the current of life take me where ever it pleases. My challenge, like most people, is I have set goals that have been a struggle to stay committed to and felt the frustration of letting myself down.

So, I thought I would share some of the things that I now do as part of my New Year goal setting and planning process.

Step 1 – Take a top line view and ask yourself some bigger picture questions about the road ahead in 2015….

What is your word or theme for the year?What is important to you – know your values and ensure your goals move you toward themWhat are you learning in 2015?Who do you invite onto your Team as an advisor/mentor or to help you achieve your goals?How will you make 2015 simpler?How will you make 2015 bigger?

The above process was shared with me by one of my Mentor Matt Church. I love the ‘balcony’ context it provides in helping you take a helicopter view of the year ahead.

Step 2: Get clear about the areas of focus for the year ahead.

We take clients through a simple and awesome process called the Wheel of Life, which is one of the first ever, personal development processes I was involved in. This radically changed my view on ‘life’ and helped me to see my life as more than ‘just my career’ and reflect on what else I wanted to achieve in the year ahead.

YPWA are running a webinar that will take you through this process on 4th Feb – Details and registration can be found at https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/5534160145154260993 .

Step 3 – A cliché I know but I have only just grasped the absolute importance of SMART goals.

Create a SMART goal and put it through a rigorous testing process. It is often in the setting of the goal that many people set themselves up to fail. I am going to share my thoughts on this

S = Specific - State exactly what you want to achieve, it’s all about the W’s - Who, What, When, Where. It is important that you are very clear about what you want to achieve i.e. Work distraction free (no emails, phone calls, social media, meeting or people) for 60 minutes once a day. The importance of specificity is the ability to be certain about the goal and not waste time thinking about if you are making progress or not on the journey towards achieving the goal.

M = Measureable - This is essentially the answer to the objective question, “how will you and someone else know you have successfully achieved your goal”? I.e. 60 minutes once per workday. How can you measure your starting point and end goal?

A = Achievable - You want to set a goal that you can achieve based on the person you are, the nature of the habit you are wanting to change and the environment you operate in. We often caution people about setting radical targets or ‘stretch’ goals when undertaking this process. Stretch goals have largely been discounted as a strategy as most people not only failed to achieve these goals because the end point was simply unachievable, these people also became so disheartened that they lose faith and confidence in their ability to sustain change. Far more success is achieved with smaller shifts such as 5%. One of the fundamental premises behind our sustainable behavior change methodology is small steps. Why 5%?

The chances of a smaller change sticking are higher and the brain energy required to navigate the process to where it is easy (self-regulation) is lower. This increases the chances of success and with that the potential for you to implement a second 5% shift 3-6 weeks later. So instead of committing to getting up and running 5 mornings a week, we may water it down to twice a week for the first step. The ability to make those these initial two runs a week a priority against the backdrop of everything else going on will increase when the number is smaller which increases the probability of sustainability. Repeated over 3-6 months you may easily find your self running every morning but it will feel easy and sustainable.

R = Relevant. Here ask yourself the question why am I doing, this what is the purpose? The importance of this one is HUGE. Unless the goal is relevant in an important way to your journey, why bother at all, because of the significant physical, emotional and mental energy required to achieve success. This is all about the why and without a compelling reason, motivation is likely to wane. Make sure your ‘why’ matters.

T = Time Bound, By When? This is all about setting a completion date or deadline. Again be realistic with this date and perhaps even set small goals or milestone dates so that you can achieve success on a more frequent basis.

Step 4 – Set Yourself up for Success

The goal setting part is easy – the making it happen is when roadblocks can get in the way. I have shared some of my favorite tips that have helped clients really make traction in achieving their goals and drive sustainable behavior change.

Chunk the goal down into milestones, so the way forward is visible and achievable. I like to take annual goals and break them down into 3 x 90 day periods. From this I essentially plan each month or so. There are some schools of thought that say you should start at the end and work backwards, in my experience it’s rare that I can step out the way forward in detail in the beginning – often the way reveals itself over time.Ask for help, one of my words for 2015. It has taken me awhile to embrace this concept having learned over my career that getting things done on your own was perceived as a strength whilst asking for help a weakness. When you reframe this to understand that we can achieve more and have a greater impact in life, and on others, if we ask for help combined with the fact that helping makes people feel good.Hold yourself accountable and make it as easy as possible to be successful – utilize all the resources available to make this happen ie apps, friends, facebook, peers & colleagues. I also like to complete weekly or monthly reviews to make sure I am on track.Don’t stretch too much at once – If I know some goals will be challenging to achieve I select one – set that as the priority focus for a set period. For example every February I participate in a community cleanse where we spend 4 weeks investing in our health and well-being. During this time I manage other areas of focus in my life proactively so that I will not be tested too much that may result in compromising this goal.Think about roadblocks and be proactive in building strategies to remove them early. What could the roadblocks or barriers to success be, with regards to this specific behaviour change? What are some of the scenarios that could come up and make it hard for you to stay committed? The opportunity to think about these scenarios in advance rather than react in the moment will increase your chances of success.Measure your progress. The ability to track progress through measurement is important and there are loads of smart phone applications (e.g. Lift) that allow you to ‘check in’ to stay committed and accountable to a goal.Modify if required – If success is a challenge, get real about what’s going on with you and the environment. If it feels you are likely to give up, review the intensity of the goal and scale back. Remember achieving our goals is not always, and in fact rarely a straight line to success, sometimes we have to zig-zag our way to the top. For example if daily is tough review the A (achievable) in your SMART goal and consider scaling back to 2 or 3 times a week. The goal is success that sticks.

Successful relationships are the ones where there is a balance of give and take over time. Parties are clear about what they are willing to give and wanting to receive and for the most part there are win/win outcomes. This approach to successful relationships is just as relevant to employees and employers and for most the subject of flexibility is way out of balance.

To be successful in today’s work environment, most roles and organisations require a certain level of flexibility with regards to hours worked both in volume (over a given week) and timing i.e. outside the standard contracted hours being Monday through Friday. Boundaries around the work day (especially in CBD areas) have vanished impacted by global teams and customers. Organisations are demanding more and high performers are giving even more than demanded until…

The employee asks for something in return and are slammed with a NO or a begrudging Yes. Typically this may look like a few hours off one morning to connect with a mentor, attend a conference or even attend to family commitments. In my experience many organisations are a little more willing to ‘give’ for family commitments, happy to allow time off for sick children, school performances or events but it’s often a different conversation for those that don’t have a good enough ‘reason’.

Take the scenario of a 30-something professional female;

Typically in the office by 8am, leaves by 6:30pm (well outside her 40 hour contracted work week).Rarely takes the allocated 1 hour lunch breakChecks and responds to emails most weeknights (till 8pm) and for an hour on most weekendsOccasionally works a few hours on a Sunday afternoon to ‘catch up’Rarely needs time off for personal appointments

Without a good enough reason like family commitments etc the question of a few hours off (her chance to ‘take’ after all the ‘give’ in the week) is challenged if not explicitly then often implicitly. I recall being in this scenario personally frustrated that just because I did not have children did not mean that I was any less entitled to the ‘take’ element of the equation.

What matters is not that there is an explicit balance ie I work 40 hours and get paid 40 hours but rather than the needs and expectations of both parties are met.

The ‘give & take’ balance can be achieved in so many unique ways such as gratitude, appreciation, opportunities to grow and develop, promotions, recognition opportunities etc What matters is that for both parties – across time (perhaps the working month rather than week) that the ‘feeling’ of right balance is there.

Intuitively most of us are wired to achieve an outcome of harmony. Human beings inherently dislike conflict and the desire to bring relationships, teams and families back into a state of harmony unconsciously drives much of our behavior. In fact many of us will compromise personal success in the pursuit of harmony.

I see this intention to maintain harmony drive much thinking such as;

I won’t give that feedback as I don’t want to upset John (even though it would actually help him)I won’t disagree with my manager (even though I think there is a better way) as he may think less of meI won’t share my concerns about my colleagues or how our team runs (in case this triggers conflict)

Whilst the ‘pick your battles’ concept is an important thought process, a ‘harmony no matter what the costs’ approach stifles innovation, creativity and progress. Enter Diversity.

By definition, Diversity encourages varied thinking, contradictions in approaches, thoughts and possibly outcomes. The more diversity we have the more potential ‘dis-harmony’ we will be required to manage and whilst consciously many organisations think they have the skills and desire to manage this, unconsciously most time and energy poor leaders would prefer the easy way out.

Take for example John a CEO of a large listed organisation. John leads a team of 8 executives, one of whom is female which is higher than current results in the ASX200 where women represent 10% of key management personnel. John’s CFO has decided to move on and when recruiting for a replacement the idea of a strong, experienced female who can shake things up a little is appealing. Whilst the number of viable female candidates with the right skills & experience is lower than the male contenders, the final shortlist of two has one female and one male candidate. All things being equal how do you make a decision?

Do you employ the women purely because she is female and diversity is a priority? That doesn’t feel rightDo you select the individual who s likely to be the best culture fit? Probably unhelpful as John is likely to feel that the male candidate will fit into the executive team better as they are ‘used to’ collaborating with the old male CFO as is John.

Whilst it is rare that an ‘all things being equal’ situation is likely to occur with candidates of such a senior nature, the impact of unconscious bias and a desire for harmony vs disruption are strong forces in our decision making processes.

Here presents an opportunity to build awareness around how unconscious bias impacts our decision-making. That is, bring the unconscious to our conscious combined with building the capabilities of leaders to constructively communicate and collaborate within diverse teams. This will help navigate the competing tensions of these two important outcomes in our organisations – Harmony and Diversity.

Its hard to go anywhere on a Saturday and not hear a little girl (or boy) singing the words “Let it go” from the theme song of Frozen. Walking through grocery aisles, enjoying pass-the-parcel at birthday parties or simply playing in the playground and humming along, Frozen’s catchy tune can easily become a song worm in your own head!

Not only is it the words that are delivered with gusto, with the performance comes plenty of power moves to accompany lyrics like “turn your back and slam the door….here I stand and here I’ll stay…the cold never bothered me anyway…”

So many lessons in the beauty of this has had me captured for months in so many ways and despite this I have wondered whether the reasons why we love the movie as adults are the same as experienced by those gorgeous little souls (equally both girls and boys my Facebook friends/mums tell me). So, to Facebook I went and asked the question…

“What is it about the song and movie Let it Go & Frozen that has captivated the hearts of so many children and adults?”

One response was that “The whole movie is about standing up for yourself and not listening to the judgement of others, it especially empowers our girls to be the person THEY want to be rather than what their parents or society wants them to be. Let it Go is about releasing yourself from that power. ‘ Not sure that a 3 or year old would get that same message but it’s clear it’s contagious.

For me there are a few simple lessons in both the message Frozen brings and the impact it has on so many – adults and children alike.

#1 What happens when we ‘grow up’

How is it that as little girls we have no fear, no shame and no care about what anyone thinks? Belting out a tune in the middle of the grocery store, playground or even walking through the streets is a given. I delight at such simple confidence and a lack of consciousness to care that someone may care or judge them for this type of behaviour. In fact, most adults smile at how beautiful it is and for some it is a bittersweet reflection that this carefree behaviour left us many years ago.

#2 Do they know what they are singing? And what does it mean for us?

In my circle, I am known for loving a power ballad! The first I knew about Let it Go was when one of my school friends was talking about the song at one of our Saturday brunches she said “KB – you will love it”’… Indeed home I went, downloaded the song, the film clip and the words and have been belting it ever since.

So many of the lyrics are relevant to many of the young women we work with in Young Professional Women Australia, some of my favourites being:

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see be the good girl you always had to beConceal don’t feel don’t let them knowThe fears that once controlled be cant get to me at allUp here in the cold thin air, I finally can breatheStanding frozen in the life I’ve chosenLet it go, let it in, you can’t hold it back anymore

#3 If it’s good enough for our children, it’s good enough for us

When I ask clients to reflect on their childhood and what they wanted to ‘become’ when they grew up – a beautiful world of possibility and opportunity opens up, for even just the briefest of moments. Fast-forward to the present and the contrast between that world of possibility of children is light years away from the current reality.

Powerfully, I then ask the question “If you have children, are an aunt or uncle or have young children in your life, what is your wish for their future? Is it for them to realise that life of possibility? If it’s your wish for them why are you personally worth a lesser life?”

Diversity and Inclusivity are certainly words high on the agenda and over the course of the year I was involved in many conversations that looked at barriers for young professional women.

My observations from these conversations with industry bodies, board members, young professional women and organisations focusing on gender diversity are that there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution.

Consistently over the year I posed the questions: “Is it that young women can’t pursue more senior career opportunities i.e. don’t have the skills, experience or opportunities? Or is it that they don’t have the desire to do so?”

To date, most gender diversity initiatives have focused on the first of these two questions by implementing training and development programs, mentor relationships and internal working groups aimed at removing roadblocks. Few have focused on the very important matter of desire.

Personally, I recall a time early in my finance career when the question of desire surfaced. For me – within the corporate landscape in which I was working – staying in or aspiring to reach greater heights in my career was never a question of skill. I had to really want to achieve and desire career growth in my chosen field, aside from the necessary skills I’d have to acquire along the way.

The questions I asked myself back in those early career days over 13 years ago were relevant to who I was as a young professional and my work experience back then, but I do believe some are very relevant questions that women are asking themselves today.

Do I want to be the only female, or one of a small few, on an all male board or executive team?Do I want to work long hours and weekends that may result in my sacrificing personal and family relationships?Do I want to become or portray a hard, unemotional woman to compete and succeed with others?Do I want to dedicate that much energy to the success of a career and how that will compromise other areas of my life?Do I want to put that much pressure on my physical, emotional and mental health?

Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In talked of these competing tensions (which it’s important to note are relevant for both men and women) in saying that “Every job will demand some sacrifice. The key is to avoid unnecessary sacrifice.”

So, what does unnecessary sacrifice look like and how do we avoid it?

Firstly, organisations have an important role in this area to ensure that both culture and process do not prescribe unnecessary sacrifice for individuals to achieve success. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, it is essential to empower individuals to manage this process.

Over the coming weeks YPWA are rolling out a study examining attitudes and obstacles facing professional women and their career progression in Australia. The purpose of the research study is to help us understand the key challenges faced by women in the Australian working environment and then, more importantly, do something to help make this better for everyone.

We invite both Australian men and women to be involved in this important research which can be accessed at: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/YPWA2014.

Emma Watson’s speech on gender equality was a message that was close to my heart and one that is the every essence of what the YPWA represents.

She talked about Feminism being a dirty word – ‘synonymous with man hating’, something I related to. When I first started YPWA it was to build a community that focused on supporting young women to be empowered to live a conscious life what ever that may look like.

When I looked around, most of the conversations being had within the gender diversity space at that time related to aggressive language with themes like;

A fight for equalityA leg-up rather than an equal playing fieldProgression of women at the expense of men

All I knew then was that if that was feminism I wanted to run a mile the other way. I had no interest in fighting, I wanted to achieve because I was the best suited for the role and not because I was female and not in an environment where a man was more deserving but missed out for my benefit.

There is a growing conversation around gender diversity in organisations that a focus on supporting women will by definition result in a culture of exclusivity for men. I don’t have all the answers on this and I acknowledge that many of the challenges women face in regards to growing and developing their career are also faced by men. I think the important thing is that the conversations and approaches to deal with and progress through these challenges are likely to be different for both women and men and there are advantages to keeping these conversations separate.

Men don't have the benefits of equality either and this has never been more true than in Australia where we see men of all ages battling to achieve both personal and professional success within the boundaries of gender stereotypes.

Suicide remains the leading cause of death for Australians aged between 15 and 44.Men account for three out of every five deaths by suicide, making suicide the 10th leading cause of death for males.

The more time I spend in the space of supporting young professional women in Australia, the more I realize that the challenges and opportunities required for women to progress relate, at the risk of simplifying, to 2 things;

Individual empowerment / freedom to make conscious choices about lifeAn organisational culture that makes it possible for those choices to happen.

At Young Professional Women Australia our core focus is to ‘Inspire and Empower Young Female Leaders of Australia’. The conversations about gender diversity in organisations need to evolve beyond the individual to one of organisational culture.

The question – How do we support our people (both women and men) to be empowered to make conscious choices around their lives, and make their lives happen in a way that meets both the organisation and individuals’ needs?

At this year’s Chief Executive Women Annual dinner, new CEO of Coca-Cola Amatil Alison Watkins shared some insights of her journey to the top. One of the early pieces of advice that she shared and is consistent with many senior female executives was ‘don’t hide your light’.

Messages supporting women to take ownership of their profile within organisations and the broader market are now commonly communicated in various forms including Marissa Meyers now famous paraphrase ‘Lean In’ and the introduction of the concept of ‘Visible’ - a new area for education in female leadership development.

No longer does the assumption of ‘work hard’ and someone (one day) will reward and recognize you, cut it. Too often I hear stories of women who have been overlooked for promotion opportunities or salary increases because someone else is banging the drum a little louder (compared to not banging the drum at all).

Think about the whole concept of marketing. Often the success of a product, in terms of sales is not solely a function of how good the product is, but rather how widely known the product is in the market and how well crafted the messages are about features and benefits, aka ‘marketing’. Few companies would dream of launching a new product without having a carefully crafted strategy around product positioning and how to drive sales.

So why is it that we approach the concept of marketing ourselves with such apprehension? (that’s a whole other blog post!)

I am not talking about a self-published ego trip full of hype and big promises. In the case of products, these marketing campaigns whilst sometimes successful in the beginning always burn out when consumers realize the truth. What I am talking about is an elegant and graceful evidence based ‘marketing’ campaign that talks to key strengths and value based contribution of individuals’ efforts to the organization.

Sounds perfect…but where to start?

As pre-work for the 9 month YPWA Leadership Development Program launched in July this year, we asked participants to go through quite a detailed career evaluation process. Feedback from participants was 2-fold;

The process was hard, confronting and not so comfortable even though the focus was on positive aspects like achievements, skills etcAfter completing the process, their confidence had increased by mere fact of being able to articulate in an elegant, evidenced based way the value they represented to an employer.

We have detailed below some of the questions that were included in this process with the purpose of helping you to start articulating your value proposition.

What key skills and competencies have you acquired? (Include technical, behavioral, soft etc)What are some examples / experience of how you have used those skills?What value did that create for your organization, customer, manager or other stakeholder?

Remember to focus on all 3 steps – many people stop at articulating the skills and competencies. What an organization is interested in is what you can do with those skills and the value that can be created. Just because you have the skills that mean you can, does not mean that you will.

Still struggling?

Sometimes it can be useful to step into the shoes of someone else (a boss, colleague etc) and answer the questions from their perspectives.Ask trusted advisors how they see you in terms of key strengths, achievements etcStart brainstorming a list over a few days (with a goal of getting to 20). Some of the ideas may appear vague but you will definitely collect some fantastic things to work and build on.

I have lost count of how many times I wish I had a pill that if taken daily would magically transform the self-confidence of young women often paralyzed by this aspect of their self concept and belief. If only it was that simple!

Well I don’t have the magic pill but I do think that we complicate this conversation and too often ‘confidence’ is the generic label that leaders give to the development area or focus for growth of individuals.

As discussed in last weeks post, the most important place to start a conversation about confidence is with a clear definition or end point. What behaviors, feelings or outcomes are we trying to achieve when we talk about building confidence?

If you have been given this feedback in the past about improving confidence be proactive and ask good questions about the specific observable behavior that your leader or stakeholder is looking to see. In the absence of this you can invest a whole lot of time and work in doing both the internal and external work to improve your confidence and to others there may still not be any difference.

Compare this scenario to one where you gain clarity about the specific area or focus that a leader means when they talk about confidence eg I would like to see you speak up more when we are meetings with my colleagues & other team members. This then allows an individual a clear outcome or behaviour that can be achieved. Not only that, it also helps them work through the roadblocks that are currently blocking that behavior – the first step toward moving forward to sustainable behaviour change?

Understanding why this new behavior (i.e. speaking up in front of others) is important to your leader is crucial so don’t be afraid to ask these questions:

• When you talk about improving confidence, what specific behavior would you like to see that would be evidence for you that your confidence is growing?

• What will it mean or what impact will it have for you (others and the organisation)

• What are the outcomes or consequences of this for you and your organisation?

For example, I have applied the matter of speaking up at team meetings to the questions above, from the perspective of a team leader:

• Behaviour: I would like to see you speak up more when we are meetings with my colleagues and other team members.

• Meaning / Impact: Others will hear directly from you about your great ideas and the contribution that you make to the team

• Consequence: Others will start to get a better understanding about what you are capable of first hand rather than hearing about it from me (which may mean I can start to delegate more responsibilities to you with their blessing etc).

The above process is a starting point to help you move along the self-confidence spectrum professionally and to start to build the feedback loop for yourself and others that can be a platform to build upon.

What I personally know is that there is no pill or end point with regards to the confidence conversation (sorry to say). Even the most successful people who look to the world like they have all the confidence in the world will - behind closed doors - reveal vulnerabilities in this area.

Confidence is a conversation for many of us that starts as young children and when I reflect on my time in high school I recall the opinions of others as being a huge consideration in every decision I made. I had a fairly normal upbringing, a good childhood, parents that loved me, brothers that terrorized (but loved me) and a strong circle of friends who were a good influence. Despite this, and the perception of others, I realized in my late twenties I still had a lot of work to do in this area to move to a more empowered life experience.

After 10 years of intense personal development, I am (and think always will be) a work in progress and that is a beautiful thing about life.

I was reading an article in Forbes online that talked about job applications and the reasons why women and men do and do not apply for roles. The results were not surprising: http://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2014/04/28/act-now-to-shrink-the-confidence-gap/

Women working at HP applied for a promotion only when they believed they met 100 percent of the qualifications listed for the job. Men were happy to apply when they thought they could meet 60 percent of the job requirements.

This reflects consistent conversations I have with many young women on a daily basis. I hear comments like;

• “I have been told I have the capability but need to work on building my confidence” to be considered for a promotion.

• “How do I build/grow confidence?”

• “My confidence has taken a beating and I don’t know what to do.”

In a recent webinar where I was talking with a group of young women about confidence I posed the question: “How do you define confidence?” Needless to say it was the obvious - yet for many unanswerable - question.

So I referenced Wikipedia to provide a background for the concept of confidence to encourage a robust conversation about the definition;

• Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective.

• Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself.

• Arrogance in this comparison, is having unmerited confidence—believing something or someone is capable or correct when they are not.

• Overconfidence or presumptuousness is excessive belief in someone (or something) succeeding, without any regard for failure.

Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.

When most young women talk about confidence it spans many categories of life however the impacts play out most significantly in the workplace.

The first step towards achieving the desired confidence levels is to get clear about the goal. To do this try work-shopping the following questions;

• What does the confidence I aspire to achieve look like (what do I see in myself or others)?

• What does the confidence I aspire to achieve sound like?

• What does the confidence I aspire to achieve feel like? (in my body, emotionally and mentally)

If you struggle with this process think about what confidence does not look like and then flip it i.e. confidence is not walking into a room and hanging back not engaging in conversation – it is walking into a room and walking straight up to someone introducing myself and engaging in conversation.

Now you have a picture of what confidence looks like to you (and uniquely you) reflect on your current position. Perhaps self-assess your checklist based on the above questions and identify priorities areas for development.

Next week we will be looking at getting a little more specific about how to work with your leader to build more confidence.

Most of Australia would have at some point over the last few weeks heard that the formidable Arianna Huffington was in town. If you didn’t catch her at one of her many sold out speaking events you or may have seen one of her TV interviews.

As someone who regularly shares some of the fantastic articles on health and wellbeing published in the Huffington post, I jumped at the chance when a colleague invited me to attend the Sydney Business Chicks breakfast to see Arianna speak. I must confess I did not know much of Arianna’s story and upon meeting her I was immediately blown away by her authenticity and ability to own a room in a real way.

Throughout the 60 minutes or so that Arianna was on stage, I laughed, smiled and reflected on her stories and the message they have both for myself and Australia. So I thought I would share a few of her thoughts and my personal reflections in the hope that you can also enjoy Arianna’s message and it’s application to your own life.

• How do we define success? Get clear about what that means on a personal level, many of us are pursuing a path that represents success in the eyes of others.

• Eulogies have nothing to do with resumes – we spend so much time focusing on professional success as a means to an end. Rank the 5 most important things in your life and then list (in order) the 5 things you spend the most time doing/focusing on. Compare the list. For many there are some harsh messages here.

• Multi tasking is the most stressful thing you can do – What are you missing when you are multi tasking? I love this question as we are so busy paying attention to the noise around us that it is often what we are not paying attention to that is the most critical area.

• There is no better networking skill than being a giver – I can personally vouch for this being a fantastic approach to building my network. When meeting someone I am always asking myself the question – How can I help you? Who do I know that would be a valuable contact / introduction for you?

• The importance of renewal – With so much focus on working hard, and a little less on playing hard, there is no focus on rest hard. Much of Arianna’s recently launched book ‘Thrive” talks about how we need to focus on the concept of renewal. In Arianna’s words ‘the feeling of waking up recharged and ready for the day is priceless’.

• Set an intention for the day – don’t create your day or be at the mercy of your inbox. I see many clients who’s inbox drives their day - and for many their emotions - with regards to the feeling of being in control or ‘on top of things’. At Huffington Post, email is used as a form of communication within work hours. There is a clear mandate that employees are not expected to reply to emails outside of the working week and if an employee needs to be contacted out of these hours it is done via text or phone. What an awesome way of setting clear expectations with employees about communication channels and most importantly, giving people permission to not be on email 24/7.

• No is a full sentence – this says it all!

Lastly, my personal favourite: Live life as if it’s rigged in your favour – this assumption is a perfect background with which to navigate life’s pathway to ensure perspective.